Change In All Things

Taking care of mom when mom can barely take care of herself

The first trimester can be one of the most isolating times in a person’s life. For me, I was wildly excited (and scared) when I found out I was pregnant. I was alone at home (my husband was on a ski trip with his buddies), and I wanted nothing more than to tell him.. but make it special. I was BURSTING. So of course, I called my sister…and visited my other sister…and told a couple of friends… I think my husband has forgiven me for not being the first to know after me. I mean, I carried our child for 9 months after all.

After the first few days of realization, I remember feeling a bit isolated in this time period. My husband and many of my friends didn’t know what I was going through, my sister checked in on me, but she had a baby of her own to care for and keep her busy, and I was going through spurts of nausea and exhaustion. I wasn’t comfortable sharing the news with my coworkers, so I didn’t have a support system at work to help me through what is arguably the most difficult trimester. I was going through all of this while also trying to balance the joy of possibly bringing a little one into this world, and the fear that I might never be able to meet her.

I did find joy in the discomforts of the first trimester, and my goodness were there MANY discomforts. Every bought of nausea was terrible, but it was also a relief because I had a sign that my body was still doing its job at being a home to the little growing bundle of cells. After the first few weeks, I stopped being able to poop consistently. If I was lucky, I would find relief from the constant bloating that came with being backed up once every few days. My boobs ached constantly, and I experienced round ligament pain weeks before I started showing. I was exhausted. No amount of naps could take away the exhaustion that I was feeling, but of course I would wake up multiple times in the night to pee as my hormones changed. The sleep that I got in the night, was not restful. All of these terrible symptoms were signs to me that I was one step closer to meeting my baby. One step closer to my life changing forever.

I suffered through these symptoms though because I was TOO DAMN tired to do anything about it, and my husband is a man. He has no idea what I’m feeling, not matter how often I tell him and how well he listens. He is lucky that he gets the male experience through the 9 months of pregnancy.

As my friends started getting pregnant, I used my experiences to search for solutions for them to have on hand when they needed them (IF they needed them). Now that I’m going through my first trimester for a second time, I’m finding use in these from the get go instead of suffering the way I did the first time. Instead, my suffering comes from a toddler who seems to want more attention as my exhaustion increases coupled with that same toddler bringing home daycare germs (If you are struggling with a sick kiddo, please visit Sick Again? A Practical Guide to Daycare’s Germy Reality – In progress). I have never felt more tired.

The list below has helped me manage my symptoms way better than I could have imagined.

1. Nausea Sweets
   As you may very well know now, morning sickness is not isolated to the morning. For me, I’ve been more nauseous at the end of the day rather than the beginning, because the first thing I do in the morning is get a small cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal/yogurt/toasted bagel with cream cheese. As the day wears on, I forget to eat until it’s too late and I want to vomit. Of course, by this time, the nausea makes it almost impossible to want to eat anything. This only makes the nausea get so much worse. Popping a nausea sweet in helps the nausea subside for long enough to get food in my system.
2. Large Capacity Water Bottle
   At the beginning I didn’t think I was thirsty, but my head started hurting so badly. Of course my husband asked, “Well have you had enough water?”
   I didn’t ask you, sir. But probably not.
   Investing in a large capacity water bottle is probably the best thing you can do. My favorite is the 40 oz Brumate. It is spill proof, has a handle, and can fit in a standard sized cup holder. This is perfect for breastfeeding as well. Easy to carry around with a newborn in your arms.
   Warning, there is a small smell when first unboxing the Brumate. It does go away.
3. Lotion & Body Oil
   The best advice I have to combat stretch marks is.. do not forget to moisturize. And please for the love of all things good, do not forget the girls (or booty/thighs). I only ever focused on my stomach, and I ended up with terrible stretch marks on my boobs, butt, and thighs. I also ended up with stomach stretch marks (perks of a 9 lb baby), but they are less aggressive than other parts of my body.
4. Electrolyte Water Additive
   This second go around hasn’t been as bad in the nausea sense. I truly believe its because I’m hydrating better and the nausea sweets give me a bit of space snack. I’ve focused on hydrating more intentionally this pregnancy, and so far I’ve been able to handle the days a bit better. I start each day with a 40oz water + one electrolyte pack to help start the day, and as the day continues I refill with unaltered water.
5. Energy Water Additive
   I sent the energy additive to a friend and got rave reviews. Her first pregnancy has taken her out, and I wanted to do what I could to help her find energy in the first trimester. She said the flavor was delicious and it helped her have energy she was desperately needing.
6. Magnesium Supplement
   When I was about halfway through my first trimester in my first pregnancy my ability to poop consistently just stopped (TMI, but we’re friends here.. I’m not here to paint a beautiful picture of pregnancy). Apparently, the hormones slow digestion so your body can effectively remove nutrients from the food. The slowed digestion results in constipation (it’s fine, I’m fine). The best thing I did for me was take these magnesium supplements. They allowed me to go more regularly. It might not work for everyone, but if you’re as desperate as I was, it’s worth a shot.
   Note: not all suffer from this affliction

There you have it, all the things I found useful for my friends, wish I had for myself in pregnancy 1, and am actively using in pregnancy 2. As I find more solutions to the miracle of pregnancy… more accurately, the horrors of the first trimester, I’ll be sure to share. Just remember friends, every painful bit is one step closer to holding your baby in your arms. The good much outweighs any negatives.